Often times, as parents we take for granted our children's milestones, their accomplishment, and their firsts. During a child's first year, they are expected to reach certain milestone during a specific time frame. For Robbie, well, that is a different story. Developmentally and physically, he has reached and surpassed each milestone a head of time. He is a strong willed little boy that has learned to problem solve and get out of a pickle in no time flat. But, never did I imagine in my wildest dreams that I would be anxiously and nervously wondering when Robbie would have the privilege to wear his first pair of shoes. If you would to take a peek in his closet top shelf, you will find several pairs of shoes that we started buying the moment we found out about his arrival. He has all sorts baby soft shoes, athletic shoes, rain boots, and little cowboy boots (to name a few styles) waiting for him to wear. That "expectation." that hope, that anticipation of putting together the perfect matching outfit came crushing down.
That day finally arrived this past Saturday. The custom orthopedic shoe store called early Friday to let us know that Little Robbie's shoes were ready for fitting and pick-up. I smiled from ear to ear and at the same time, I got a pain in my stomach, I felt the room spinning, and had a hard time breathing. After 13 months, Robbie would finally have his first pair of shoes. The store owner warned me that they were not the best looking shoes and with the help of a leading orthopedic company, this pair was the best they could custom make to meet his needs. The following morning we rushed over to the store, so early that we waiting for them to open. He welcomed us at the door and rushed to the back to get those anticipated first pair of shoes. At that point everything started to move in slow motion. All I remember was taking a deep breath, opening my eyes, and there they were. They were the ugliest shoes EVER!!!! I knew they would be bigger than your typical toddler shoes; but Frankenstein ugly is an under statement. Both Steve and I were left speechless. We had to sit down and gain composure.
His first pair of shoes were on his feet. They appeared bigger than life. Robbie took one look at them and started laughing. I don't know if he was laughing because he knew the significance of the appointment or the fact that he had shoes on for the very first time in his life or because he thought we were playing a joke on him. As the active little boy he is, he jumped off my lap and attempted to walk. That's when I realized the difficulty in his walk and the struggles we have yet to overcome. Needless to say, he didn't do well with them. He kept falling. When barefoot or with just socks on he has difficulty lifting his right foot to clear the floor to take that one step. With the shoe on, it was twice as hard. Robbie could not even lift his right foot high enough to take a step. Instead, his right foot bent and rolled sideways and onto the floor he fell.
Several days have gone by now .... after processing these overwhelming feelings and fears with Steve and seeking spiritual guidance from my girlfriend of 20 plus years; They helped me offer this overwhelming feelings of fear and unknowns to God. I know that God has a greater plan and purpose for Robbie. I need to believe .... no, I know that God chose Steve and I to be Robbie's parents for a reason. Steve and I need to keep praying for guidance and strength to know how to guide Robbie to fulfill God's promise. To Let Go and Let God is definitely a difficult process and never easy. God's faithfulness will guide us to find what is necessary for Robbie's purpose to unfold. God's promises are never empty . He is a good and merciful God. He trusted us with Robbie. He will see us through.